I've found a friend who died for me

Zzzzzz..............

Havent had a good sleep recently. Super tired. Everytime after waking up i just feel like going back to sleep although i still have to drag myself to work. Never mind it is gonna end on this friday!!!!! I am gonna sleep to my fullest then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even if i tried to sleep as long as possible, the weather is against me. At night, the temperature like suddenly soar sky high. Hot until cannot sleep properly. Wake up but tired but cannot go back to sleep. I even pushed myself to my limits while doing exercise or sports till i am really dead beat......

I went over my limit and then caused a stupid injury in my right thigh muscle. Cant stretch or cant sit down cross-legged, have to let it be straight. Hope it gets better soon. Those people whom i do sports or exercise with, please remind me to do proper warm-up before going into those sports. Thanks!!! =)

Happy Birthday!!

From now on, i guess i would have to becareful with my posts. It might be stumbling to people. Someone told me too, super negative. So done. Case close. HaHa.

HEROES SEASON 4, VOLUME 5.

REDEMPTION

It was released yesterday at 8.00p.m at the states. So it only got updated online around today. Started surfing internet around 11p.m. Skyme gave me a surprise. The long-awaited and anticipated 1st episode of redemption is out. It took quite awhile to buffer, so went to watch 命中注定我愛你 on channel u. Today's(22/9) episode was super duper funny. After the show i quickly rush back up to my room and take a look at Heroes IV. The buffer went on and on like nobody's business. The internet speed took up pretty fast.

I sat down and got myself ready because i know i will be on another breath-taking episode. The first one too.

1st Episode: Orientation(Spoiler)

Can be so-called half of the 1st episode because the promised 2-hour episode turn out to be only 47 minutes, wonder where did the other 1 hr 13 minutes went. Felt quite cheated ='(
Then the episode havent end la, stop there then now my heart super itchy. Suddenly Sylar came out then show ends. Also felt quite lost. AHHHH!!!! Second part of Orientation can you quickly update yourself on skyme?

The first episode already so exciting, wonder other episode will be like wat. My adrenaline's pumping real fast. Wooooooooooo!!!

Sentences that captured my attention

Maybe we're both looking for redemption. (34:34)

-Noah bennett

I want my body back. (47:42)

-Sylar

After finish watching this episode, my heart is racing super fast, so fast that it nearly dropped out.

New season, New heroes, New powers and New excitement!!!

HaHa. Someone got to wait for 'o' levels finish then can start watching. Never mind right. =)
Although you know that the electricity girl called elle is dead. Didnt mean to spoil the fun.

RAINBOWSSSS AND SUNSHINESSSS!!!!

I am utterly happily disappointed!!!!

WHY?! WHY?! I REALLY WANT TO SHOUT AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE!! THIS IS REALL PULLING ME DOWN AND I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE AND SHOUT!!!!!

I WANT TO RELEASE IT. I really want to help, really really really really want to help!!! BUT WHY PEOPLE JUST DUN FREAKING ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND MY GOODWILL. Is it i do hell out of things that people think whatever i do is pure bullshit.

I really want to do something and i am constantly pushing myself forward to understand and get things working. It is just like you teach a student and the concept is soooooooooooo freaking simple and that student cant catch what you are saying and the student tell you what are you talking about or maybe like the student will say his concept then is the right one. MY FEELING RIGHT NOW IS REALLY JUST WANT TO SHOUT MY GUTS OUT AND TELL YOU THAT HE WASN'T DIRECTING ANYTHING AT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!?

AND YOU BLOODY FREAKING "d" WHO APPEARED ON TANNA'S TAGBOARD. IF YOU HAPPEN TO PASS BY MY BLOG, I WANT TO TELL YOU TO FREAKING GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FRIENDS' LIVES. YOU FREAKING PEST!!! YOU WANT TO CAUSE DISHARMONY IS IT?! COME AND GET IT FROM ME!!! I AM MOST WILLING TO DEAL WITH YOU THIS KIND OF SHITHEAD!!! DOUBT YOU ARE A MAN, YOU DUN EVEN DARE TO FREAKING OWN UP OR ADMIT WHO THE HELL ARE YOU. IF YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME TAG ME AT MY TAGBOARD. GET ME IF YOU WANT AND NOT MY FRIENDS!!!

And for goodness sake, t.s, you are 17 already leh. Can like try to be more sensible and mature? Still remember we said that we Gombak people got brains to think one. Dun throw face la. And i know you are probably thinking that i am out to provoke you in this post. But let me say anything before you really think that way. I really only got one thing in mind when you see this. Is that i hope u can understand everything and really to stop falling further into the trap. What you are doing, is only making the devil to feel even more motivated to turn everything topsy turvy.

I realised this was my 50th post. It is the so-called golden annivesary. Wasted quite alot on ranting at people. Just now when i was typing those CAPS words. I nearly spoiled my lappie, guess i really got emotional and pressed my keypad too hard. not worth not worth. My emotions got the better of me again.

I think i really need a break. Or soon my friends, you can come and visit me at IMH.

Okay enough of all the negative stuff. Its time for the positive ones!!

Today is the last day of the week. That means i have 2 days off from work!!! YAY!!! Away from that hot and humid environment. Shoo! Until now still no one want to donate fan to us. But its okay. Just hope everyday rain can already. Only on weekdays ah and only during working hours. =))

Quite tired already leh. I want to sleep le. Sorry ah. Although not watching survivor but i still slept late =((

Oh yah i remembered.. yesterday gavin say i am his treasure box. Talk to me like uncover alot of secrets. So gavin, am i your source of entertainment or you really want to chat with me de huh?! LOL! Study your 'a' levels la. Dun zhuai pi with your neccessaties.haha. i very long never take english le okay. So forgot how to spell is okay de =))

Haha. XP told me to post on rainbows and sunshine instead. Dun want too emo de post. =))

There you see. Now got rainbows and sunshine already leh. Thanks ah. Help me so much =)) Talk to you, from sad de then become like the picture above. 雨过天晴. Then now i also becoming TV addict already la. Reached home put down everything, take off shoes and socks. Go sofa then start watching TV. Normally is go up switch on lappie first one.

And someone say my chinese very good leh!!! For once! haha i so happy. No one ever praised me for my chinese.

God can you answer more of my questions? I know you are there.

I need chances. Can you give me a chance to prove myself?

为什么？随边一个人，你可以告诉我为什么当一件问题解决完了。又有另一波的问题向我狠狠地压倒。又无助又很通，甚至很难呼吸。我真的要放气了。我真的无法在继续了，不是我不想继续，而是我没有力继续了。

说真的，从那个问题以后，我一直遇到的问题都一直把我玩得没气了。为什么我就是没有机会休息？

我还记得以前，我说我不可能会遇到这种问题的。就算遇到，对我来说是小case。但是，这次我才知道这有多难搞。只有你们两个白痴知道，所以我真的希望你们能给我一些劝告。我应该做什么才好。

其实我真的不懂，主啊，你倒底是要我怎样？为什么我全家人都有被你弄到这样。你可不可以给我一个答案？我真的觉得很不公平。如果真的要玩到我死，为什么不要直接把我带回你身边呢？

Today, my 2nd day at work. I really hope i that some kind soul can lend me a portable fan. It is really very hot. *Sweatssss*

For dinner, the whole table was spread with many dishes. Crab, Lobster, Ginseng soup, Hotplate tofu and etc.... Now after eating, it has been an hour or so. Usually i am sensitive to prawns and there will be symptoms of me being sensitive to prawns after eating them. Now the symptoms are back, though i didn't take prawns. Lobsters and prawns are like so-called under the "same family", so i dunno whether it is because of the lobster that the symptoms are surfacing. It really itches. Got to pray for me man.... I still have to work tomorrow.

14th september 09.

My first day at work today. Although its quite a slack job. But there is definitely something that i am unhappy about. WHY?! Why they locate us at such a super duper hot environment. No fan, no aircon, the wind dun even blow. That place is really very hot. Who wants to invest in a portable fan and lend it to us? It will be a great deal, just imagine, you can bring it anywhere, everywhere. Be a kind soul, please buy one and loan it to us. =))

What make things worst, is when a nasty customer comes to us. Oh my goodness! It was really infuriating, that makes me perspire even more... But enough of that. Today, is the day i took that step of faith to reconcile and the first step of faith to be healed. God, our relationship will soon be stronger than before. What a lovely father and friend!

God please grant me wind tomorrow when i am working. =)) thanks!!!

Someone havent tell me the secret. Go where only ma. Just say la. haha. Comfirm is go sleep one. Until now dun want reply me.grrrr....

There are a few requests that i would wish to make public about.

1. Those who have read my blog, a few posts back, where the post was titled " Lost ".
For this, i have only one request, i really want to get back into a serious relationship with God. It is really tormenting to be like away from God. Caught in a spider web, no matter how hard you try to struggle out of it, you will still be stuck and maybe even tighter. But what can be done, is to lift up your hands to God. He will definitely be there to lift you away from that trap or crap.

Prayer request to blog-passers: If you have the time, can you please pray for my relationship with God to go back to how it was or even stronger than before? Thanks. God will bless you even more!

2. The next "All i want" is for the ministry of the young people to grow even stronger together than before. All the hard comments i made about how i wouldn't care about this ministry anymore is really just too rash. I made that comment out to really just vent my anger and disappointment. But i really do care about the welfare of the youths. Too bad, God wants me back in there, He didn't prepare everything so well for me to abandon. Through all these, its the learning process that matters. I have also learn this important thing. God wants you to learn something out of the trials or tests that he has set for you.

So if a house that is made of like standing stilts in the water. How is it gonna withstand the weight of all that burden the God has set upon our hearts? Even if it is, we must stand strong and firm. We are not gonna look sloppy again. I dun want stilts that are not properly alligned or you can say some are short or long. We are gonna work as a team! Like how an earthquake-resistant building can withstand all the quakes and tremors. Let there be no relationships between any of us be soured or turned bad.

If any of you whom i have done wrong against. Please do show me mercy. Like how God has done it to us once we are out in this world. From today onwards, i want to tell those that have done me wrong, i no longer hold on to the deeds that you have done.

Lord, may these all be my prayer tonight. You have broke my heart for what break yours. Now i only want to do Your work and worship you wholeheartedly. I know i have said these words on a previous few occasions. But really Lord, please help me to get through this tough round. I need your presence in my life.

Separate issue

I dunno whether i have done the right thing.....

God please show your way in me. Thank you.

Went on a malaysia trip with my church today.

Quite disappointing though, cos like the food wasn't appetizing and nice. The places that we visited aren't to my liking. That is why this trip cater more to the elderly ones. Young people like us should go somewhere else i guess?

I bought another P.D.I product! Simply too attractive le! This time a polo-tee caught my attention. Somemore its having offer. Like 2 for 69 ringgit i think. Then i ask that thian soon to come and buy one piece also. So i got myself the one i wanted, but T.S say when i wear i look like some old old person. I like it becos the colour is like quite unique. Then that T.S bought a yellow colour one. So not my colour.

Oh and 1 more thing i forget to mention that is we have to meet by 7a.m this morning at church. Then T.S came over to my house to stayover cause he scared cannot wake up on time. Then we play and talk cork until like around 3, so only left awhile to sleep. At first, i felt quite sleepy already, so as usual i offered my bed to the guests and i went down to 做庭长. Normally i can sleep de lo but dunno what happen, i couldn't sleep at all. Was quite irritated by myself when i cant get myself to sleep. In fact i was thinking about alot of things. What i was thinking is confidential.. XXXXXX

Although i havent like had a proper sleep for like a day already i still dun feel tired at all. Am i suffering from insomnia?!? hope not. I dun feel sleepy yet right now probably because i am really laughing like nobody's business. Super funny la. Keep saying all those quite "retarded" things. But offline le so i think i write finish this post also want to go sleep le.

BYE!!!

Tonight i just want to make my apologies to all people that i have done wrong against or what. It'll be an open confession today.

Especially those that i have met on the soccer pitch. Just a past few incidents. It was just a few soccer occasions ago, that indian, although he tripped me on purpose but that doesn't give me the right to hurl back expletives. Really regretted doing that. I am really sorry. If you happen to pass by this blog. I am sorry. Friend friend okay?(= Thats the most recent one that i can remember.

As for some other occasions. I am sorry for laughing and putting down you people. Didn't mean to do that. For this i will try to change and also i think i have to get rid of my diving habit. Can be quite irritating to people sometimes =X

Actually today, generally, i am apologising to those people that i have so-called "offended" on the soccer pitch. ごめなさい!!!

Thought of doing this today is because i dunno why this song "God's people" just kept going on in my head. It says of God's people are kind. I really am ashamed of myself.

Really living a day without God's presence is really very lost. The happiness that i can enjoy is just merely an earthly desire. I must start to live for God and not for this earthly desires that i have tried to enjoy for this temporary period. Have to snap back into reality and get back into the place where God wants me to be in.

But if i get back in there i will suffer. Sometimes i also dun understand. Adults often say "你还那么小，那么年青。为什么要那么烦？年青的时后应该玩，应该享受吗！不要那么笨啦！" To show how confused i am i will just write this " Really i confused am." UNscramble the words. Anyone passing this blog and see this. If you have an answer, please tell me =)

I will be resting from today until saturday evening. No soccer for me during this period or vigorous excercise. Updated my C.I.S. So must rest well le. If not GG!

Gavin i get it now. "Blinded"

I'll rather take number 1.

Really had enough of disappointments. Really dunno why. In a wrestling ring, the person is really beaten till like on the brink of coma or you would call it K.O? I dunno but this person is really too tired and painful.

Then when he is ready to get up for another fight. Just when he is all knees and palms on the ground, another blow just come and take the person right back to the ground. 1,2....... 10. K.O

Haha. Okay enough all these. Back to option 1.

Today met up with T.S, K.K and nigou again. LOLS. When met up with them really quite refereshing. As in feel so much better. Had so much fun. We were playing cards at the void deck. Guess we were too noisy, annoyed the residents. They called the police. But still we played till around 1100. Then left for home.

When we were walking back to the MRT, crossing a road, oh my goodness!! I nearly got banged down by a lorry. Was just only a step away or two, lucky that idiot pulled me back. If not dunno where i am now liao. But nvm lucky i am safe and sound(=

The next thing is that. HaHa. Add me le leh. I see le super happy. Although it might not mean anything. But just yeah one step forward. Hope to see you soon((= haha.

Last post i mentioned that i would be continuing on sth else but i forgot what is it already.

Never mind then. I'll just talk about what happened yesterday. But recently dunno why, all the sundays are so crazy and like can laugh until explode. 2 weeks ago was the 去哪里吃什么, last week was the upsize thing which i think its perfectly alright. Yesterday, its the K.K going scuba diving incident and the he-has-a-feeling-that-he-has-changed(我感觉我变了) song. Wah nearly explode. Laugh until cheek and tummy were all so strained.

But yesterday like travelled alot. From gombak to church, church to ION, ION to suntec, suntec to katong, katong to east coast, east coast to city hall, city hall back to gombak.

Supposedly, want to call the 6 of them to come out kia kia tgt one. But so sad la, one working, one go out with parents, another one MIA, one come already then say tired then go home slp........... One day we must go out tgt okay?! Haha. Very long time never like go out tgt le.

The remaining is Thian soon, Kuan keong and me. But still going crazy. More people more fun ma((=

Oh yah oh yah. The katong station is where T.S and me went to cut hair. My hair is seriously short. If anyone of you reading my facebook saw my post, i said that my hair is really short, go back secondary school also wun get caught one. Kinda like my new look. Haha. Always prefer short hair. Look less messy.

Then at the East coast station, total bullshit. Suddenly stomachache. Thought that my intestine clogged again. Lucky not. We looked for place to sit but keep constantly being chased away because the people booked the BBQ pit le. So we found this bench, 3 of us sat there. When i was away, the both of them go and play prank...sms....the dunno who then sabo me. Abit disappointed with the outcome though=( Hostility.

The Gombak station---Super duper funny and crap. K.K was singing that song mentioned above. He was really going crazy. Saying like he is starting to sing with the feel. We thought he siao liao, cos we also not gays. Then then still have another incident. K.K really make me and T.S ROFL!!! He was sitting on the metal bar then we were talking normally. All of a sudden K.K turn backwards. Then he was still holding on to the bar and he turn backwards like how a scuba diver go scuba diving la. SOOOOOO funny. Okay le. Now gonna go watch TV. BYE(=

I thought for a long time on how to start today's post. Still dunno. Never mind, i think i will start from here then. 2 days ago very funny and abit stunned lo.

Debbie suddenly messaged me. At first it was an unknown number, because i didn't have her number in the first place. Somemore its like out of nowhere, around 1a.m. Totally stunned me la. Thought she already know everything. Then 原来 is something else.

Then the next thing to report on is on the so-called new "job". Working for my sister now.

eh others i con't tml. Gonna slp first quite tired.

Goodness...

I never have had this feeling for a long time. Where everything that revolves around me are just too puzzling and confusing. What really sets us apart is that line of axis that separates the Lost and the Found.

Right now just like a balloon in the sky. Floating around. Waiting for it to burst and the remnants just being pulled right back down onto the ground, waiting for it to be cleared off and be recycled again or just be left there.

What is needed, is the passion of a tiger, when chasing a gazelle. When you set your sight on something. Nothing is gonna change it.

Bye

Gosh! My holidays aren't really like holidays. Just got too many things on hand. Too busy. I am quite exhausted physically. Played soccer consecutively for 2 days. Oh my weren't it fun? But it is truly exhausting. Burning up every single energy. But I nvr had such great form for quite a long time. Kinda like on my peak or it is just that i am playing with players who just dunno how to play football.

Current Injury Status(C.I.S)= left calf strain, right thigh strain.

Think I am not gonna play any physical sports for the next few days until i have recovered from my C.I.S and fatigue.

Besides this, I also have other things on hand. I am working for my sister and also have some things to organize for the 25th annivesary. Field soccer. Really hope that people can support. But haiz, quite disappointed with the response. I really dun understand why leh.

Thought people always say like "wah, christians leh, surely damn good de" the idea along this line. But not really leh. I am not trying to portray a bad image of this group of people. I am also in it myself but why do i say so? Becos facts are true. What is true, is something that lies beyond the reach of false. Or either I can say is that I people in this church just dun respect me or i just dunno what are they thinking. They probably think that i am oraganizing this event out for my own pleasure. Totally dunno what to say.